Not a self promoter.

Now I’m not one for boasting, bragging or bigging oneself up… it would seem I’m not really a fan of words that begin with B, apart from… boobs, belles, boys, bits, bums… We can see what I have on my mind. Anyways, I don’t think it’s necessary or very becoming from a young lady, such as myself. To be honest, it’s not great in anyone. There’s confidence, there’s being proud of an achievement, then there’s arrogance and rubbing people’s faces in your success – it’s a fine line to tread.

I’m not one for self promotion. I don’t wish to attract that much attention to myself. I am confident in my own skin, I know me, what I like, what I don’t, and if I don’t or am unsure, I’ll spend a few hours debating it in my mind, and possibly sharing it with you. But. There are things I know I am good at, and there are things I know I excel. We all know our own strengths as well as our own weaknesses but I tend to focus more on what I enjoy, more than what I think I may be good at.

As far as I am aware, I think its fairly dangerous to trust your own opinion of yourself. Know yourself, like yourself be proud of yourself, but don’t think you know it all, after all, we lie to ourselves all the time. We lie to others about ourselves, we are in effect our best friend and our own worst enemies, for quite those reasons. Always out to protect but also to blind. So well, I thought I’d do something very random, because I am random and I feel like it.

I’m going to share some things with you. What they will be are things I like, things that interest me, things I love, and they’ll be relevant. To me, to you, to something you like, a common interest, to someone you know, or to knowing where I’m coming from when you hear my ramblings a little more.

I’m an English student. I spend most of my days with my head in a book, thinking about a book, reading a book about a book or thinking about what I’m not reading. I spend time exploring history, philosophy, psychology, sociology, epistemology, literary theory, I’m an overthinker by trade, probably why I spend such a long time looking into things on a microscopic level, I’m a lover of analysis – whether its of a page, a character, a period, a psyche, or just my muddled and cuffudled brain.

I’m a TEFL qualified teacher, so I mould the brains of non English speaking students, which is ironic seeing as I seem to pay very little attention to grammar, punctuation spelling, or even whether the word I use actually exists in my own personal life. I enjoy teaching, love teaching, I find it the most interesting and fascinating thing to do. Its inspiring, rewarding, challenging, had work and fun, and they are all the reasons I love doing so.

I’m a writer of erotica. Don’t get too excited, I’m not published (well in an anthology, somewhere… not big time, published) I have a blog, I write sex as sex should be, raw, passionate and without too much soppiness and character. Its all about release and self expression. its another side of me to this one, a more primitive, raw, randy side agreed, but a side I embrace all the same.

I’ve started a music blog, because I’ve realised I listen to a lot of obscure stuff, that people seem to be very interested in when it comes up. I mention people nobody has ever heard of and that have less than 1000 followers on Facebook. I like finding odd little artists and songs, searching for something new to my ear, to prick the hairs on the back of my neck and make me stop and listen. And as I love sharing, well why not share that too, seems selfish to keep all my little musical treasurers to myself.

I write for my University online publication, infact, I’m under interview for Editor in Chief. I’ve been in print issues, and my writing is journalistic, from news to current affairs, reviews and previews, entertainment to fashion, politics to columnist pieces. I enjoy all sorts of writing. I think words are the most powerful tool, and weapon at our disposal, and I’m rather a fan of playing with them.

Now. I know that all this sounds like a bit of a boast, that I’m trying to show off, say how well I write, how many different things I can throw my hand at, how busy I am. Its not. I’m not a great writer, I enjoy it, there are certainly better out there. I’m a fan of commas and long sentences, using the ‘three’ in description and prescribing to clichés when I feel like it. I write colloquially, without thought, or point. I ramble, I jump about, I even forget the point I started with and end up somewhere completely different – not a to b, more… j to r (if you follow my meaning).

I’m simply saying it because, well I thought you might like to get to know me. Maybe you might want to read something completely different and fancy my other blogs, perhaps I felt like divulging, or maybe I felt like taking stock of what I do do. I think I may have my fingers in two many pies to do any properly or to the level I truly wish to. I’ve neglected my blogs of late with life’s general hiccups as it is, let alone kept on top of everything else, but as long as their a pleasure and not a chore, I’ll keep doing them. Thats what life’s about isn’t it. Sharing. Doing things you love. Talking to one and other.

Do I follow you, do you have another blog I should be checking out? – post it. If I’m not writing I’m reading something, editing work for the paper, books for University, marking for students homework or an album review. Might even be the back of my cereal box. If you fancy some music, or erotica – ask. If you want to know something else –  ask. If you want to chat – talk. I am, as they say, all ears. I fancy sharing, so lets here something about you.

What do you do, what do you like?


Like to be Liked.

What I’m about to say isn’t going to make me too popular I imagine, but I believe what I’m about to say many of us will have to admit to whether we like to or not. I’m talking about being liked. We all like, to be liked. Thats a given, no one wants enemies or adversaries, we all want to get along with people, to make friends, to fit in, be found funny, interesting, attractive…

That’s more to my point, we all secretly like to be liked, in that way. We all want to be fancied, to be found desirable, to be wanted by others. It’s a confidence kick, it’s a boost of the self-esteem, and it makes us feel alive. When you walk down the road, how many of us give people the eye, or catch people giving us it? It makes you feel good, gives you a smile, so you obligingly smile back at them, feeling a bigger spring in your step and lighter at heart.

How many boys walk along hand in hand with their girlfriend, their better half and shamelessly eye up every pair of legs, tits and pretty face that passes them by? Most. But what about the girls? We all walk with a gentle sway, up straight, we glance at faces as we pass them, we smile to ourselves and check ourselves out in shop windows… are we really any different? Do we walk in that way we know will attract attention because we like it? Do we secretly love it when someone chats us up in front of friends or even our partner, because it reminds them and you, your something worth keeping?

I don’t think its unfair to say most of us do, even those who are happily married, or settled, its human nature. After all window shopping is only the start. But what about something more? A friend of mine was chatting saying how she had snuggled up to someone she, knew she didn’t like that way, but knew he liked her… so that would be, Leading him on right? No. Its not all as black and white as that. If you aren’t making advances or promises, then I’ll disagree.

We’ve all wanted to be made to feel special, feel attractive, had someone to cuddle. It’s normally when we’re out of a breakup or single for a while – you get the blues. You just want that special someone there, the ex or mr/missus right and they’re not. But someone is, someone you care about, someone you’re comfortable with, that you can sit and cuddle, and laugh with, curl up on the sofa with under a blanket.

It isn’t something awful; taking it any further, well that’s different. That’s engaging sex and affection and emotion into the equation, and well know how those things complicate matters.  I’m a very tactile individual, with everyone, friends, people I’ve just met. I’m always one to put a hand on someone arm when I’m talking and lean in, to hug people I’ve just met, to lean my leg over someone when we’re sat talking… To me, its only natural. I’d find it odd to be the other way, so to me, a cuddle. Well its just a cuddle. It’s just you snuggling into someone for a bit of comfort, warmth and security, nothing to write home about.

So next time your with a friend, your feeling a bit lonely and they’ve popped over for company, you see them shuffle a bit closer, and you feel like laying against them. Do it, make a comment about having them there as a mate when you need them if you feel you need to lay down parameters. We’re all to fussy about being touchy feely, getting to close, about being over friendly, the barriers between men and women as friends. What does it matter? Really, no one can be hurt by a cuddle or a snuggle.