It’s never easy being young…

People are always afraid of getting old, of finding those fine lines and grey hairs of time passing them by, of missing opportunities and the sense that each day you’re the best you’ll ever be. If I’m honest, I’ve never really prescribed to that philosophy. Since a child, if I was the closer side of six months to my birthday, I’ve always rounded up. Being young for me was always difficult, always feeling too old for my years and hating the condescending stares of those more experienced eyes around me. Age for me always represented, progression, wisdom, experience, passion, learning… Moving away from the past and growing into the person that I feel inside, each year finding my feet a little more…

Thats easy to say when everything’s going well, when you’ve a plan, when you’re still only 22 and have you ‘whole life ahead of you’. But it’s not easy beings young – the Argo, the angst, the attitudes. All this raging hormones and learning curves, new lessons and choices to make. The world might be your oyster, but they are a delicacy to get used too. There’s the opposite sex, and sex, and then the ex; growing pains, growth spurts and guessing… It might be an exciting road we travels, but however worn it’s still got its fair share of bumps and twists and turns.

Decisions come thick and fast, what to do, where to go, what to be, who to be with, what to want, what t get, what to aspire too, what to work for… And that sinking feeling that these questions will remain unanswered and sought for a fairly long time. Life after all doesn’t get any easier or let up instead striving forward and creating new challenges – not the easiest thing t comprehend. If I could go back and grow up again, I can say I wouldn’t. I still haven’t for a start, I’m still 15 somewhere inside, trying my best to look the part, to fit in, to do well, to achieve…

But it’s not easy. Even getting out of adolescence isn’t easy with the present economy. School leavers, or Uni graduates, everyone s struggling to find their place in the world. Those with a career plan are finding it virtually impossible to get started in with the lack of jobs, and the rest who are unsure are desperately vying for whatever wage they can take. As a young thing, I’ll admit it all seems a rather daunting prospect.

I think its about time

romance

…to date again. Oh yes, some of you will know it was May time that I split from my last partner and I think i’m finally set to get back onto the dating scene. I don’t know about everyone but I find that a reasonably stressful sort of activity. For someone who loves to meet people, I don’t really get the chance.

There is alot of etiquette with dating that I rarely have time for, for example. There’s the first meet, that I’m all good with, love getting to know people and having a chat, then you exchange numbers and my first problems arise, I’m useless on my phone. Its one of those old school £10 jobbys, with no internet, or fancy apps. It doesn’t do texts in a running conversation but has a capped limit of 100 it’ll hold. As you can imagine, I’m not one constantly attached to it, which for my age I guess is a rarity, but it also means when I’m supposed to be getting to know someone and seeming interest, and I forget to look at my phone for two days, I come off as a little disinterested.Then there is the second, third, fourth dates, where to go, what to where, whether to kiss, to take it up a notch, meeting friends, staying over. Its all alot of hassle that I don’t really buy into. Despite this I’m thinking of giving it a go again. My friends have signed my up to an online dating profile as a bit of a laugh, I’ve got my flirty eye on on nights out, and i’m making sure I leave the house with make up on and something other than a hoody to the shops – you know, because you never know.

With so many disasters its amazing that we’d ever want to date again and get back out there, but someone once said all you need in life is love. Well I can think of a few more things, but the companionship is definitely something you miss, and I could do with a cuddle occasionally from more than my cat or a teddy. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all want to meet someone and have someone to go home to. I’ve never been one for getting married and having babies. Actually I’d say that its something I cant see in my life, nor strive for, but that doest mean that I don’t enjoy having a partner, I was just never that little girl that grew up with a fairytale idea of a relationship and my life. I just think, if it happened, it happened, if not – its really not a concern of mine.

Anyways, I’ve decided to blog about my disasters and somewhat hopeless love life, if you feel like reading it, definitely drop by to datemedaily.wordpress.com, I promise it’ll be a hoot.

Swamped in submissions…

swamped

I’ve not been great at replying. I’ve been bad at checking emails. But I’ve been worse at posting. Life’s done that thing of getting in way. Swamped by essays on Georgian Literature, Genre and Popular Culture, on Pope and Keats to Miller and Tarantino… I’ve been eyes deep in foot notes and journals, in bibliographies and books and I’m out the other side. Yes I’m sat back relaxing to the sweet sound of no work, and the prospect of the New Year…

And further deadlines, dissertations and that casual decision of ‘What I’m going to do with my life’. It would seem that things have turned out exactly how I imagined University to be, unrelenting, stressful and daunting. I have to admit the ride over the last two years hasn’t been too bad and now that I’m half way through the final part and on the cusp of starting my working career, I’m contemplating anything but deciding what to do.

So as I’m curled up on the sofa, with a cup of tea, two very fluffy cats, surrounded by research and an iPad poised in a vague attempt to consider work, I think I may just sit back, relax, stare at the log burner, and rest. For tomorrow is yet another day. I’m back on here, I’ve a lot to catch up on with you and, well, we could all just use a minute to ourselves.