“If I dated you, I’d buy you clothes…”
“Because I think you could pull some really edgy gear of, something really different… You’d look so good”
“But I don’t care, I don’t… want to pull it off”
Clothes. Theyre something that define us, something that make us who we are, something we put on that tells you something about us or showcases our personalities. They can make us feel part of something, individual, alternative or segregated. We can feel, smart, professional, sophisticated, alternative, edgy, sexy… as many adjectives as you can define a person by.
Clothes represent us. They are a signal to the world of who we are. They tell you we’re professional, we’re proud of our job, we’re confident; they tell you were womanly, sexy, sultry, we’re confident; they tell you were different, an individual, non conformist, we’re confident…. I see a pattern emerging.
What makes a person attractive? What makes a person, someone we are drawn to, want to spend time with, seek out for company. It’s all down to a simple thing called confidence. I know girls who look as sexy as pie in tracksuits and baseball caps, professional in ripped jeans and a tank top, it’s about your confidence.
It’s about poise, and integrity, in believing in yourself and what you stand for. Those of us who are far more concerned with our appearance are, I would like to suggest, not that happy with themselves. Always trying to prove themselves, make a statement, be up to date or fit in. They care where they shop, what things say, what logo they have, how people look at them…
We all care about people’s perception to some degree but how important is it? If you’re confident with you, then wont everyone just accept you – regardless? They’ll be drawn to your personality, to that glow you have about you, that warmth, or that smile… whatever it is that makes you, really you, not how you dress it up.
You can dress the ugliest individuals up in the nicest clothes, I don’t mean appearance I mean personality, their true person, and they would still be unattractive. Your essence is more important than how you choose to present it.
So when I had the conversation as above, or as close to as can be twenty odd hours later, you have to ask yourself. Why? Why do you care what I wear. I was in a lovely top, skinny jeans, brogues, not a track suit, not anything flashy, but comfortable, fashionable but understated. Just because it isn’t what you’d wear to draw attention, I didn’t need all eyes on me.
I saw the guy look me up and down as we walked past him, his and in his girlfriends, the cashier keep smiling and talking to me, staring at my mouth when I spoke, the girl crossing the road, eyeing up my top… It’s not what I’m wearing, it’s how I’m wearing it. I don’t care whether you think I’m fashionable or not, that I havent genuinely bought clothes in a year, that I am not bang up to date, and because I don’t care…
No one else does. My carefree attitude and good mood regardless of how you look at me, is reflected in my walk, in my posture, in my poise, they way I talk to people, the way I smile at people as I pass them, THAT’S what people notice.
If you feel the need to look as though you’ve been pushed through ‘Topshop’ backwards, fallen through the market place, or that every item down to your boxers must have a label worthy of your approval, then, well… I pity you, because deep down, you haven’t found you, and what you are, who you are.
Know who you are, everyday, show who you are, not with what you wear, with the way you hold yourself, the way you command yourself, the way you treat others and the things you say.