Late Nights, Long days.

Some people worry when you say you aren’t sleeping. You must be stressed, take a tablet, go for a run, wear yourself out, you don’t look well… Well I look like I had dark circles and I might be a little sluggish in the morning but, I’m fine. I don’t know why we worry about sleep. Its something we all do, and will do, our bodies get exhausted and if you’re it will happen. So you’ve got a lot on this week and you’re staying up a bit later, your worried about a presentation, or something coming up on the calendar… You can’t find your keys and its driving you mad…

Well. Fine. Accept it, do something. Lay and think constructively, about anything, about your life, about problems, use the hours. Lay and relax, read a book, catch up on telly, enjoy your time. I’m not saying get up and run a marathon or you would never sleep, it’s just it is only sleep. I’ve seen the sunrise everyday for two weeks and its been gorgeous, looking out of my window at the sun kissing the sky, hearing the birds getting up, whatever the weather its gorgeous. But it got my thinking tonight…

What is sleep? We all know its do with healing and there are processes we do at night, digestion and, repairing our brains from the toils of the day, but isn’t sleep kind of, random. Think how odd it is, we just, lay and suddenly that’s it, our subconscious is still ticking over, but our brains, gone. Dreaming or not even  that, processing. We can sleep walk, sleep talk, thrash about or lay so still you wake up in the same position come the morning…

It’s a daily coma. There we all lay, on our own, by a loved one, spooning a pillow or cuddling a pet… on our backs, on our sides, arms under us, propping up the pillow… leg in the bed, leg out the bed, thick duvet, sheet… such a lot of preparation just to sleep. I’ve slept on floors, in showers, the boot of a car (easier not to ask) and I’ve slept, fine. So I woke up a bit achy, but christ some morning I wake up in bed and feel like I’ve been beaten up.You can fall asleep anywhere, it’s this primal thing inside you just takes over. You’ll just start dozing off, on the bus, in a meeting, with a cup of tea or at the theatre. Your body just takes over, starts to shut down and there is nothing you can do.

When you wake up do you ever wonder, what you’ve been doing. What have we been doing? You could’ve gone out and done anything, and you’d not know. We lay, unconscious, vulnerable, for hours. Think of the poor beggars to hibernate, Christ you’d at least want a lock on your door, well or door at all if you’re a woodland creature I guess…

Sleep is one of those things that makes you realise, your body and your mind are quite separate. I’ll rephrase, your consciousness and your body are separate. Your mind may control movements, but you, the little voice in your head you, that thinks and responds and contemplates, that has no real say in it what so ever.We’re machines, we’re a series of processes, amazing processes, thousands of processes all at once, just to type, think of all the different elements working, your heart pumping blood, muscles, oxygen, tendons, concentration…Sleep makes me remember I’m an animal. I have basic functions. I have things I need to do, that’s really why we all get so panicky about it. About eating, about sleeping right, it’s because we’re programmed to know they’re important, that’s what keeps us alive.  Apparently, if you were to not eat, not drink, not sleep, you’d die of dehydration first, sleep depravity second and starvation third. That’s how complicated machines we are, that your brain would literally short wire itself and you would cease to be, because you haven’t rested it.

Sleep is one of those things in life, we don’t question or think about, but really, its vitally important, completely random, and a little bit odd. We all have ‘sleep’ personalities. You can be a really calm person but mentally fidgety in bed. We have sleep patterns, individual to us, routines, cycles… I don’t know if any of this has made any sense, I guess that’s the lack of sleeping talking now, but,When you think about anything in life, how odd does it all seem. And on that note, I think I may, just, sleep.


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